West Ham New Year’s resolutions

With 2013 thankfully coming to a close and 2014 hot on the horizon, it’s time to start humming along to Auld Lang Syne and making promises of goodness for the year ahead that you’ll never see though. It’s prime time for coming up with your pledges, goals, and New Year’s resolutions for 2014.

2013 has not been the best year for West Ham on the pitch, so I’m hoping and praying that, as we move into the next year, we sort out the problems, which have us second from bottom in the Premier League. With that in mind, here’s a list of some of the most common New Year’s resolutions that people aim for every year, and how West Ham could adapt them for their goals in 2014.

1. Do more exercise / Get in shape

We’re not in good shape at the moment. Our players are dropping like flies, our injury list is terrifying, and we are fresh out of centre backs. I don’t think I’ve ever known fear like the fear of seeing a ball come towards ‘centre back Joey O’Brien.’ Something is not going right in our training plan, and it has to be sorted out before we relegate ourselves through injury. Players also look out of shape (talking to you, number four) and we’re regularly beat for pace doubling back.

2. Lose weight

A very common resolution, and one that could be simply applied to a midfielder, but I’d like to see West Ham lose the weight on their shoulders they carry around as soon as we are scored against. The pressure they are under is (unsurprisingly) intense, but the biggest problem we have is how we react to going behind. We suddenly play as if we’ll never score again (the West Bromwich Albion game was a great exception to the rule) and we cannot just let our defeatism sink in so easily. This goes for the fans too, this writer included.

3. Quit smoking/Drinking

Hey James Tomkins- this ones for you. Don’t go to the Sugar Hut. You’re a professional, and we shouldn’t have to go into Spring hoping your defending is as good in the courtroom as it is on the pitch. If we have any other players who have bad habits that happen to be keeping them from playing, please sort it out. We need you focused and ready to play. We’re paying you to be focused and ready to play.

4. Improve your finances

West Ham constantly seem to say we’ve no money for new players, but we must sort out our finances and do whatever we can to invest in the team not getting relegated. It seems essential for the future of West Ham United that we remain Premier League while moving into the new stadium. If we really are worrying about FFP, can’t we just throw caution to the wind to stay up? I’d take a points deduction in two years to stay in the Premier League this year.

5. Learn a new skill

Perhaps everyone could learn how to stay onside and not give away free kicks directly outside of the area? Just a suggestion.

6. Get organised

Our organisation needs tightening up. We could start with the back four. Miscommunications at the back are rife regardless of which keeper is playing. Players struggle to know where their teammates are, and I’m still not convinced by refusing to play two upfront. Both Modibo Maiga and Carlton Cole are finding their form, and it would have been wonderful to see both on the pitch at the same time against West Brom.

We have a lot of work to do, and making empty promises is certainly not the way to move forward—but if David Gold, David Sullivan, and Sam Allardyce are serious about sorting our club out in 2014, the above is not a bad way to start.

What other resolutions would you make for the club? Did Kevin redeem himself against West Brom, or should Auld Nolan be forgot? Should Big Sam put “find a new job” as his resolution? Let us know below or tweet me @makingthemarrow.

Oh, and Happy New Year! Come on you Irons!!