It just isn’t worth playing West Ham’s captain

It was all going so well. We were passing the ball! We were taking shots on goal! Kevin Nolan put two balls in the back of the net, courtesy of some fantastic Andy Carroll assists—and miraculously he wasn’t offside for either goal!

Yet just when it all felt like a dream, the good news began to fade and die when professional Olympic diver* and disgrace to humanity** Chico Flores took a tumble, and Andy Carroll was given his marching orders.

It’s bad enough that we’ve lost Carroll for three games, but the real shame is that effectively we’ve now lost the use of two players – Andy Carroll and our captain, Kevin Nolan.

Nolan has consistently underperformed and underwhelmed in Carroll’s absence, and it’s only with the return of Andy Carroll that we’ve seen the return of Nolan’s form—culminating on Saturday with me uttering the shocking words “Kevin Nolan’s on his hat-trick.”

It shouldn’t be a surprise really, that these two come as a pair. The BFFs previously shared a home together whilst at Newcastle United after Carroll was bailed under condition he lived under the watchful eye of Kevin Nolan. Theirs is a strong partnership, both on and off the field, and you only have to look at the first half of the Swansea City game to see why we need both at their best to ensure we stay up.

Of course the dream partnership that looked certain to save our season has been dealt a devastating blow and now, with the impending news that we won’t have Andy Carroll for the next three crucial relegation crunch games, I’m wondering if maybe Nolan should sit out the giant striker’s absence as well.

I’m just not sure Kevin Nolan should be allowed anywhere near a football pitch if Andy Carroll isn’t already on it.

We have other midfielders who can play irrespective of who else is on the pitch—I’d love to see Antonio Nocerino and his absolutely massive shorts get a bit more time on the pitch, and if Ravel Morrison can just keep it together on his way out to the pitch the kid has a lot to offer to the side – and isn’t hindered by who is or isn’t out there with him.

Hopefully the team will rally in the absence of Carroll’s presence and Nolan’s form; and as gutted as I am by the FA’s decision, the best part of the Swansea game for me was seeing Winston Reid come back on the pitch—so let’s hope we make smart selections while we’ve lost the use of the dynamic Northern duo.

What do you think – is a Carroll-less Nolan still worth playing? Or was Nolan’s form given its marching orders along with Carroll? Let us know below.

*okay that might not be true, per say

** that is definitely 100% true