Twit down, shut up!

Twitter is an absolutely beautiful place. Like it or loathe it, it is a true paradise where the sublime can meet the ridiculous, and no-one can complain about it, because “it’s my opinion, and it’s my right to state it, and your right to read it and agree to it without discussion”; particularly if you support West Ham United.

 

 

Are you on Facebook? Excellent, so are we http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/ForeverWestHamcom/200938616608282

 

 

 

The idea for this type of article came from reading a number of views of the West Ham faithful before games, after games, during games and even when there are no games in sight. You see, everyone is entitled to their view, but 140 characters just isn’t enough for me to tell you why we shouldn’t be giving Gary O’Neil a 5 year contract extension, why we shouldn’t be throwing Carlton Cole to whichever side is quick enough to stump up a bag of chocolate coins, and why we shouldn’t persevere with Mark Noble on corners because practice makes perfect.

 

 

And so an idea was born. To take the top three contentious, West Ham related issues of the week (according to Twitter), and just put my spin on them. Possibly a voice of reason in a world of knee-jerking, knicker-wetting 15 year olds, who put “WHUFC” in their Twitter handles and claim to be a close relation of David Gold’s dog walker’s neighbours cousin, and therefore they are “In the Know” and that “The ink will be drying from Nicolas Anelka’s signature before the clock strikes twelve by this time tomorrow”. Or perhaps I’ll just add to the hysteria, and this paragraph alone will send shockwaves around the boardroom as David Gold lambastes the fifteen year, dog walker’s, neighbour’s, cousin for being too fast and loose with the truth, and now we’ll never get Anelka by this time tomorrow and we’ll have to settle for Dele Adebola (considering we’re in the market for has-beens, but more on that later).

 

 

Before I begin, I must state that I will need be taking personal digs, or including peoples Twitter handles here, nor will I be using direct quotes, unless it is from a news source. My ramblings will be based on a general consensus, or things I have seen that are completely ridiculous. So without further ado, my three topics this week are “Goal scoring”, “New (old) signings” and “Relegation Fears”.

 

 

Goal Scoring

 

Sitting on Twitter on a sleepless Tuesday night, I was checking the news articles of a “well-reputed” British newspaper. The newspaper claimed that West Ham are in for a striker, on the basis we are among the lowest scorers in the league, and we are desperate not to be dragged into the relegation mix. “Hmmm…interesting”, I thought, as I set about putting this absolute fallacy to bed. My first thought, was that we are hardly near the relegation mix, but I’ll discuss that more later. My second thought, was that we aren’t that bad in front of goal, are we? Well, I did the maths. So far, we have scored 24 goals, which, if the league position was based on goals scored alone, would put us joint 13^th with Norwich. It would also put Stoke (who are currently 9^th) below us. So in this twisted fantasy league, we would drop two places. But in my opinion, games are not always won on goals scored.

 

 

Under Avram Grant’s tenure, we had to ensure that we scored at least a few goals, because we were bound to concede at least two with our shambolic leaky defence. But under Sam Allardyce, our defence is tighter, and we actually keep a fair few clean sheets. Maybe I’m stating the obvious (but perhaps that is necessary for the Twitter knicker-wetters who think that we’re going down because of articles like this I’m commenting on), but if you don’t concede a goal, you’re guaranteed a point, and if you just so happen to do that while snatching the odd goal, you’re guaranteed three! So regardless of whether we are scoring three goals a game or not, we can still accumulate points! For example, the game against Manchester City, although perhaps that was their poor finishing rather than our defending at times. But we came out of that game saying “A point is a point”. Aston Villa on the opening day was three points, because we stayed resolute at the back, and Kevin Nolan nicked a winner. I can’t say I heard many of you complaining then!

 

 

So let’s review my fantasy league, but in a golf-style format, you move up the leader board for the least goals conceded. Only leaking 24 this season (which gives us a goal difference of 0, for the math-magicians among us), see’s us shoot up the table to 5^th, over taking Manchester United, Spurs and Chelsea in the process. After mentioning Stoke earlier, it would only be fair to mention that they shoot up to second.

 

 

A lack of goals and a water tight defence is a similarity that we share with Stoke on a basis of style of play, but I now fear that the West Ham purists will come looking for my head. The fact of the matter is, in my previous article “Yos or No – the Benayoun debate”, I did mention that while I disagree with West Ham being called a long ball team, I do see us as a robust, gritty, pain in the backside of a team, and this is quite clearly proof of it. Sorry!

 

 

Now onto the main reason for this section of the article. He should always believe in his soul (soooouuuullll), but is often prone to the odd blunder. Tik-a-boo, Mr Cole, despite playing a blinder against Norwich City, that isn’t what the viewing public will remember you for, and your miss wasn’t the prettiest thing I’ve even witnessed. At the time, I even put on Twitter “Oh dear”, but I wasn’t quite so quick to want to sell you off to the lowest bidder.

 

The response of some people on Twitter was actually scary. Talking about giving Poor Carlton away, saying that they could have scored it, or called Modibo Maiga (wax on, wax off) a better player. Unfortunately, I don’t buy into this philosophy, and I actually took a little bit of heat for saying “Be thankful he was even in the right place!” Let me qualify that.

 

 

As a football coach (my profession) and a defender (my pass time), I can tell you I have come across hundreds of strikers who will run at you and try and beat you. And many more who will loiter around the box, and just kick the ball as hard as they can when it falls to them.

 

 

Considering myself to be a decent standard defender at my fairly poor level of football, I can tell you that these strikers are easy to deal with. But every now and then you will come across that odd striker who is unplayable. Very often these strikers could play at a higher level, or have played at a higher level. The thing that makes them unplayable is their physical presence, their movement (particularly on the blindside of the defender), and the goal scoring positions they get themselves into.

 

 

Perhaps Carlton is severely under-rated in this area. His presence, his movement, and the positions he get into, in due course, will reward goals. When we consider his position that he missed from against Norwich, he had eluded every defender in the box, and was unmarked. Fantastic blindside movement. Not only this, but he was unsighted by three defenders in front of him. And, as the ball reaches him, it’s at knee height.

 

Whether or not you like this opinion, and whether he is one yard out or not, that is a hard chance to finish for a striker who is stretching. And I fear that Carlton gets a bad rep purely because of who he is. I’ve seen easier chances missed by Andy Carroll, Maiga and Kevin Nolan this season. Also, through his effort and work rate, Cole creates lots of space for his team mates, and we only have to look at the Joey O’Brien goal to see quite how much space Carlton created, and gave a vital assist. That is taking nothing away from Noble by the way, who was absolutely genius in the creation of the O’Brien goal.

 

 

So, as you can tell, I like Carlton. I think we’ve looked slightly better going forward with a fresh, fired up Carlton than a languid, and partially injured Carroll. And I’m getting sick of people saying that we should start Maiga instead of Cole because Cole missed a sitter.

 

 

I agree that Maiga deserves a chance, I’m not sure he’s the type of striker that this current team needs. Unless you are a big target man, you won’t be playing up front on your own, so you need to be a winger-come-striker hybrid (which was also discussed in my last article). And Maiga, for all his strengths, looks absolutely hopeless out wide, and my sole example for that statement would be the Spurs game.

 

Maiga would play best in a front two, but considering we have three, seemingly untouchable centre-mids, I don’t see Sam Allardyce plumping for 4-4-2. Too bad, Modibo, but it looks like your chances will be better out on the road.

 

 

And such brings me onto my next piece of this article; signings.

 

New (old) signings

 

After the Norwich game, (and considering it was New Year’s Day, it was quite a delayed reaction), the transfer rumour mill exploded into 5^th gear, with the WHU_ITK’s, in their various forms and sorts, jumping around like a bunch of deranged chimps, throwing any number of names into the hat from Rickie Lambert to Mario Balotelli. But three names stood out loud and clear, as very real and active targets; Nicolas Anelka, Joe Cole, and Paul Robinson.

 

 

Is it just me, who feels that if we keep signing players in this way, we could have a team that challenges for the Champions League – ten years ago? It seems we have not learnt the lessons of having our fingers burnt in previous transfer windows. Signing players based on a reputation of what they offered their former clubs, on ridiculous wages, most probably huge signing on fee’s, and personally tailored appearance bonus’. Benni McCarthy was given a pallet full of McDonald’s cheeseburgers for every minute he spent waddling around the pitch. Freddie Ljungberg was given the freedom of the Barking pharmacies for his co-codomol addiction due to his mystery migraines. And Agent Robbie Keane was paid his signing on fee in Disney Dollars, as he was already mentally on the plane to Los Angeles for his final big pay-off.

 

 

If we are willing to pander to the humungous weekly wages of players like Anelka and Cole, could we not use this money to buy a younger player with a future. Two names I have heard mentioned were Jack Butland (Birmingham City goalkeeper) and Yannick Bolasie (Crystal Palace winger). Surely investing money in future talent would be a far more fruitful exercise.

 

 

Now I can see where Anelka may fit into our set-up, but I consider the signing of Joe Cole to be an absolute waste. Not to mention he was totally useless at Upton Park when he rocked up with Liverpool, and was fortunate he bagged a goal to mask quite how useless he was. I get that many loving fathers would love to welcome the prodigal home with open arms, but I can’t say I’m as excited. Not to mention he’s not a left back, which is what we desperately need. Not more centre-mids, who wouldn’t even get in our side anyway. This smacks of replacing Benayoun (who didn’t fit our style or system) with a Benayoun-style replacement (who won’t fit our style or system).

 

 

A secondary issue here is that we have a bench full of talented youngsters who we could give a game to, who will be pushed further down the pecking order by signing players who are long past their best.

 

 

Which brings me onto my third and final topic for discussion; relegation.

 

Relegation Fears

 

As mentioned earlier in this article, the media (and to a degree, our own fans) are looking at West Ham like a lead balloon rather than a helium balloon. Hurtling down towards the Championship trap door rather than rising up the league table into the upper reaches of mediocrity (let’s face it, we’re hardly challenging the Europa League spots, but being the best “also-ran” would be nice).

 

 

Our recent run of difficult games has dented the ego of our early season confidence that saw us sitting among the Europa League spots that we claim to consider beyond our reach. Our own delusions of grandeur took over, and now sitting in 11^th, we’re feeling a sense of under-achievement. If that sentence speaks to you in a deep and meaningful way, slap yourself. 26 points at the halfway stage of the season is a fantastic achievement for a club who has just come up from the Championship, especially considering in our last run of games we have played Manchester City and United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Everton, Newcastle United and West Brom away. Those are by no means easy games, and to take any points from those games at all should be seen as over-achievement. Playing all those teams in a row, and only dropping to 11^th speaks volumes of how well we have been playing recently.

 

 

So are we relegation candidates. Absolutely not, but I would certainly warn against complacency. We are currently 8 points ahead of Wigan Athletic who currently sit 18^th, with a goal difference of +17 over them (which further highlights my point made earlier in the article). I would also be very shocked if any of the current bottom five finished above us (that is Aston Villa, Southampton, Wigan, Reading and QPR). At best, each of those teams would require three more wins than us over the season, and in the case of QPR and Reading, five or six extra wins over the season. There are also a number of teams between us and them who have far greater form issues, the likes of Fulham, Sunderland and Newcastle, two of which we have in upcoming, winnable away fixtures.

 

 

Now an 8 point gain might not sound a lot, but let’s suppose West Ham were to gain 8 points on the teams above them. This would sit them in 5^th place, challenging the Champions League places. As unrealistic as that sounds, so it does for the teams below us, scrambling up towards mid-table.

 

 

So on that basis of not panicking about relegation, and keeping on scrapping away to gain points, what should our reaction be? Well I would personally start by giving our youth some experience in the latter stages of games we have the lead in. As mentioned in my previous article, I would love to see Rob Hall recalled, but why not more game time for Spence, Moncur, Fanimo and Lletget? If these players are our future, why not start using them now, while we are comfortable, rather than having to throw them in at a less appropriate time, like struggling for survival, or pushing for Europe (depending on which way you see our fortunes going over the coming seasons).

 

 

 

To conclude this article, Twitter can be a worrisome place if you believe every scare-mongering rumour you hear. After-all, as soon as this article is published, David Gold will be receiving tweets asking if the rumour is true that we’re signing Dele Adebola.

 

 

Follow me on Twitter @dutts_87 and please leave feedback, ask questions and follow for regular football and West Ham comment!