Worst Ever West Ham XI…IMHO

We may produce some quality, and buy some exciting and talented players, Bellamy and Ashton come to mind in recent history and Frank McAvennie from yeste year. But boy do we buy some duffers, so I’ve trawled through the archives and come up with my all-time worst Hammers XI.

Manager: With the players at his disposal it was expected that Avram Grant would comfortably secure a lower mid table finish, but the Israeli always looked out of his depth at the helm at Upton Park. Grant was tactically clueless and his team looked unconfident and lost week in week out. I will never forget the game against Manchester United and the feeling at half time when we were 2-0 up. Everyone knew in that ground that day that we would lose and sure enough the team came out after yet another inspirational Grant “team talk” a different side. We went on to lose 4-2. Grant was sacked in May 2011 following the clubs relegation into the Championship.

In goal we have Alan McKnight, a player I have to admit is well before my time but I have been assured by my father that he was useless between the sticks for the Hammers. McKnight signed from Celtic in the summer in 1988 and endured a shocking spell in goal which led to the Hammers losing 12 out of 20 fixtures and battling for the first division survival. It lead to press headlines of ”McKnightmare.” After 33 consecutive matches he was eventually dropped following a 3-0 defeat to Luton in the Littlewoods cup. The Hammers lost their fight for survival in May 1989 thanks in large part to the awful spell in goal by McKnight.

At left back is Herita Ilunga, who after a successful loan spell was signed permanently by Gianfranco Zola. Ilunga quickly made the left back place his own during his loan spell, putting in impressive performances. However after signing a lucrative 4 year deal at the club, Ilunga looked half the player he was during that loan spell. Ilunga lost his positional sense and his pace, constantly being caught out of position and leaving his fellow defenders in the lurch. His last game for the club came against Cardiff at Upton Park where his last minute slip cost the Hammers dear as Kenny Miller slammed home a late winner for the Welsh side. Since then he has found himself frozen out and has since joined fellow Championship club Doncaster Rovers on loan. It is highly unlikely you will see Ilunga in a West Ham shirt again.

At right back is Gary Charles, a hot property who joined from Portuguese giants Porto but who could never find fitness and form at the Hammers, his local club as a boy. Charles signed for the club on a 4 year deal for 1.2 million. Redknapp took his time over the decision to sign him but this was to prove to be one of his biggest flops yet. It is thought that Charles cost the club £ 4.4 million in salaries as he found himself constantly injured. After making just 6 club appearances for the club, he accepted medical advice and retired from football.

Alan Stephenson proved to be a costly acquisition having signed from Crystal Palace. Stephenson played alongside the great Bobby Moore and never lacked endeavour and next to Moore he probably looked a lot worse than he actually was. Stephenson made 118 senior appearances for the club, but he was eventually sold to Portsmouth for £ 32,000 in the summer of 1972.

His centre half partner is John Cushley, signed from Glasgow Celtic for£ 25,00 in 1967. He was given the daunting task of taking on the number five shirt of Kenny Brown. Following 27 consecutive appearances alongside Bobby Moore he was replaced by Stephenson by Ron Greenwood. The scot was described as useless by my father and a short monkey headed looking centre half.

In midfield we find Joey Beauchamp who failed to make a single West Ham appearance following his arrival from his home town club Oxford in 2004. Beauchamp a naturally left footed wide man, found the traffic between Oxford and East London too much to handle and left just 58 days after he joined. The £1.4 million buy proved to one of the biggest wastes of money in Hammers history.

Another Redknapp punt was on Ilie Dumitrescu, who again suffered fitness problems following his move from Spurs for £1.5 million in February 1996. Ilie suffered work permit hell before finally signing on the dotted line 2 months after the initial fee was agreed. His hell then continued after just 3 games for the club when he pulled a hamstring in the 4-2 home win against Manchester City, meaning he missed out on Euro 96 in England. His next season in claret and blue didn’t fare much better making just 10 appearances for the club, despite having a superb game against Manchester United in the 2-2 draw at Upton Park. He was sold for 1 million pound to Mexican club Futbol America.

Radoslav Kovac was signed by Gianfranco Zola in 2009 on loan from Spartak Moscow. The central midfielder positional sense was poor and his array of passes left a lot to be desired. Kovac was a tough tackler and wore his heart on his sleeve and was rewarded for his loan spell signing a 3 year contract at the club. Kovac scored two goals for the club against Everton and Portsmouth respectively and after 2 years at the club left by mutual consent.

Up front you have Marco Boogers, now this has to be one of the strangest stories in football and something that could only happen at West Ham. The £1 million man signed from Sparta Rotterdam in July 1995 and represented West Ham’s worst ever signing. During his second appearance for the club he was sent for an early bath following a high tackle on Gary Neville at Old Trafford. He went on to make two more sub appearances before fleeing home to Holland claiming he was suffering from mental illness. The bizarre side of the story is that it was rumoured by the Sun that he was living in a caravan in Holland. But it was all found to be media mythology, and the Hammers eventually got rid of their unwanted player when he was loaned to Groningen.

Joining Marco upfront is South African ace Benni McCarthy who unfortunately for the Hammers signed 5 years too late. McCarthy arrived at the club from Blackburn having been signed by Gianfranco Zola in 2010. McCarthy came with high hopes of recreating the form he had at Porto and Blackburn but never really got going. McCarthy then started to put on weight and started to struggle to find first team football. Benni found himself frozen out and eventually was released for being “too fat”. Benni McCarthy failed to find the back of the net during his year spell at the club. He hit back at the club following his arrival at his new club Orlando Pirates, calling chief executive Karen Brady the devil with tits.

Making up my front three is Titi Camara, After receiving £18 million for centre half Rio Ferdinand, Harry Redknapp splashed out on a series of flops. None more so than Titi Camara who moved to the Hammers from Liverpool for £1.7 million. Camara seemed a good buy at the time, as he left the Kop a firm fans favourite thanks for his direct play and pace. But the Guinean international failed to settle at Upton Park, and failed lived up to the form he found at Liverpool. Camara failed to score a single goal for the Hammers in his 8 appearances for the club.

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