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My alternative Hammers XI

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Remember those players that, although they may not have been the best or the heroes, they’re still the most memorable? Well, I’ve compiled 11 of my most memorable players from my time going to Upton Park. Just a warning, just because they were memorable, it doesn’t necessarily mean it was for the right reasons!

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1. David James – From his calamity nickname to his ridiculous haircuts, the former England number one was definitely my first choice for most memorable goalkeeper. I started going to West Ham as he replaced Shaka Hislop in goal, and I was definitely witness to some clangers! But, as he was sometimes so impressive, he’s not one to forget. AFC Bournemouth look like they’re about to get his services, thanks to the persuasive skills of ‘Arry!

2. Tomas Repka – Come on, who didn’t love him? The Czech international may not have been the.. fairest of players but at least the red cards showed he cared! I will never forget him headbutting Brian O’Neil against Preston clear as day, and still denying it to the ref. A proper character, and a psycho, which is always a bonus as a player. He even stayed an extra season even though his family were homesick to get us back into the Prem. Love you Tomas!

3. Christian Dailly – If not for his playing style, just for the bloody great chants about him. From letting him shag your wife to his great goalscoring ability with his, er, private parts, he always raised a smile. He may have been a bit of a rabbit in the headlights in defence, but I guarantee we’ll all remember him.

4. Sebastien Schemmel – Well, he was another psycho really wasn’t he? I remember him and Dailly having a massive argument in our friendly at Bournemouth a few weeks back, and him swearing in the background of a tv interview with our man of the match. I’ve definitely learnt that I just like people that are a bit crazy by writing this article!

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5. Hayden Foxe – I’ll be honest, this is mostly due to the fact that a lot of the first games I went to as a young Hammer (and wannabe Hammerette) were against Leicester. It amused my ten year old self a bit too much when Jeremy announced him as ‘Our own fox, Hayden Foxe!’ Just me then?

6. Luis Boa Morte – I’m guessing this one will be a bit controversial. The midfielder, who’s name literally means ‘dead snake’ divided fans. Was his fire brilliant or deadly, leading to early baths? I’m certainly not going to forget his angry face in a hurry!

7. Johnathan Spector – I actually bloody loved Spector. It may be an unpopular opinion but I really do think he tried really hard and I think it was a shame not to extend his contract, as I do think he was a good squad player to have. And who will ever forget his amazing performance against former club Manchester United?!

8. Savio – Well, again he’s memorable for all of the wrong reasons. Bought for a club record fee of around £9 million, he was supposed to be the player we had all been waiting for. But, alas, he was not. And he was massive waste of money! A bit of an enigma, Savio now plies his trade for SpVgg Unterhaching. No, I can’t pronounce it either!

9. Benni McCarthy – Oh, Big Mac. Where do I begin? Where does your stomach end? One of Zola’s imports, he was more likely to be found in Burger King than a goal scoring position.

10. Paolo Di Canio – There was no way I could leave Paolo out of a memorable 11. From arguing with Lampard about who would take the penalty, to catching the ball for Everton’s injured ‘keeper, the man is one of the most memorable people to ever put on the famous claret and blue.

11. Titi Camara – I bloody loved Titi’s hopeful face as he ran up and down the touchline hoping to get in on the match action. Added to the fact I don’t think I ever actually saw him get any match minutes, I just liked his optimism! There’s a pretty amazing parody account for him on Twitter too…

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