Throughout the generations, West Ham teams have never quite achieved the accolades we, as supporters, would hope for.
Genuine legends of the game have turned out in the claret and blue over the years, international names, great clubmen; yet never at the same time have 11 men been able to combine to provide a prolonged period of success.
Too often we’re left wondering ‘what if?’ What if we had picked up a few extra results in 1986? What if we had held on to Lampard, Ferdinand, Carrick, and Defoe through their prime? What if Lionel Scaloni had just belted the ball deep into the Liverpool half instead of playing it infield?
All these points cause great frustration and sadness, as we could realistically imagine the rewards of slightly alternative outcomes.
So it’s sometimes nice to escape into a world of total make-believe – one where a ‘what if’ scenario plays out perfectly, and West Ham obviously come out on top.
Therefore, the prospect of determining an ultimate Hammers 5-a-side means creating a clearly winning formula on the field.
And although untested, it’s refreshing to dream of eventual success, even if those dreams predictably fade and die.
So my line-up would look something like this:
Goalkeeper: Bobby Moore – Controversial decision first up, sure, but here’s my thinking. The great man has to be in the team somewhere. Why waste a spot at the back with a regular shot-stopper who simply has to cover a smaller sized goal fairly infrequently. Get him playing it out of the back as a sweeper, and enjoy the extra man going forward.
Plus, our most famous number six did have his moment of (almost) goal glory. In the League Cup semi 1972 second replay, at Old Trafford, verses Stoke, he went in goal and saved a penalty. That’s good enough for me.
Centre back: Billy Bonds – You need someone rock solid at the back, to make hard tackles and break up the flow of the attacking team. There can be no-one better. He wouldn’t stand for any quick footed flair from the opposition, and would clean up when he needed to.
His levels of fitness were incredible, and that is needed in the smaller format of the game.
Midfielder: Trevor Brooking – There is always a ‘call’ for someone with the control to move the ball around, pick passes, and take players on. The game happens so fast, that you need a calm head, someone to keep possession, and use the ball sensibly.
There, is also, not often much call to head the ball in these sort of matches, so it should well suit Sir Trev.
Midfielder: Paolo Di Canio – Arguably one of the most dynamic, creative, and instrumental players to pull on a West Ham shirt. He was a wonderful exponent of making something out of nothing. In a tight game, on a tight pitch, he would have the vision, the drop of the shoulder, or a shot that would open the whole thing up.
Everything about the man would work in our 5-a-side team. Passion, natural ability and composure mean he would be the difference in most matches, as he was in reality.
Forward: Tony Cottee – A nippy striker with the ability to put the ball in the net with only half a chance. Reliably on hand to slot home from close range when those behind him create the opportunities, TC would be a poacher extraordinaire.
A fans favourite during his playing days, the dream of him taking to the field again was made all the more realistic as he was recently photographed in the club’s 2013/14 home kit!
They could obviously go up against our ultimate Aussie 5-a-side team in a pre-season friendly. Remember some of these!?
Goalkeeper: Steve Mautone
Defender: Lucas Neill/Hayden Foxe
Midfield; Stan Lazaridis
Midfield: Robbie Slater
Striker: Richard Garcia
