Date: 20th June 2013 at 7:28pm
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carrollWell, it is that time of year again, the middle of June, there is no or European to keep us and more importantly the media interested or occupied, we are in football purgatory so to speak.

The tennis starts at Wimbledon next week, while the Ashes are on soon, sorry but these events simply do not get my juices flowing!  The Tour de France will keep me occupied for 3 weeks, but this is a subject I can discuss with my lycra friends, we are a rare and unique breed!

So what are football fans left with to fill the void?  Yes, it is the lunacy that is the transfer window!  Now don’t get me wrong I like a bit of gossip, but in this new world of social media and 24/7 news it has hit a new level of craziness.

transfer window

So lets look at West Ham United, for whatever reason, in every window we are continually in the news.  Our esteemed Joint Chairman’s constant tweets and the embarrassment that is the ‘Moose’ on talkSPORT certainly add fuel to the idle gossip, while it is apparent that a high percentage of the media are West Ham fans.

Moose CarrollThe saga is quite frankly ridiculous!  The facts are that Liverpool has accepted an offer of £15m, Carroll has been on holiday and will agree terms upon his return, end of story, yes?  Hell no, we have been left with constant knickers wetting on various West Ham forums and Twitter, that Carroll will sign, won’t sign, he is drunk, he is injured for months, is he still on holiday for another week or is he now home, Carroll is holding out for Newcastle United, I think you get my drift!

My take on is that he will sign.  Carroll appears to have no other option, Newcastle I think it a no go and after the Geordie invasion in that thrilling 0-0 towards the end of the season it is apparent that their fans have little time for him!  We appear to be offering him an insane amount of money, but hey-ho, this is modern football and we must try and compete, what can the club do?!  Carroll is vital to how wants to set us up for the coming season and if we pull this signing off, let’s not beat about the bush it will be a massive signing for us and a true signal of intent.  Having watched Carroll last season, I rate him highly and if he wants it enough he can be a West Ham legend for years to come.  In addition to the fact that he is a very good footballer, he has the added bonus of having the best barnet to grace the Boleyn since the days of Ian Bishop!

(Obviously I wrote the paragraphs on Andy before he signed)

With regards to the rest of our dealings so far I am pleased that we have got a new keeper in.  Now I do confess to not knowing anything whatsoever about Adrian Miguel, other than he is Spanish, which is always good and more importantly he is young!  Hopefully he can provide good to Jussi Jaaskelainen who, while he finished the season strongly, I was of the opinion that for the opening few months of the season he was rather dodgy, however, in the end he won me and a few other doubters over.

Other than that we have been linked with various players and the ran a rather absurd story recently linking us with Demba Ba and Romelu Lukaku.  There were no sources or direct quotes and I honestly believe whoever wrote the story simply made it up!

It is clear we need further additions to the squad as it is light on the ground as proved around the Christmas period last season were we struggled badly on numbers in the squad.  I do worry about second season syndrome I am sure we all remember the second season under Pardew.  However, with Allardyce at the helm I am 100% confident that relegation will not ever be an issue.

Despite the squad lacking numbers we have released some of the youngsters who are obviously deemed not good enough, let’s hope none of them come back and bit us in the arse!  Carlton Cole has departed and for all his critics of which he had many you could not ever dispute his passion and commitment for the club.  However, the time was right for both parties to move on and I for one wish Carlton well in the future.  At least Joe Cole now has his song back all for himself!

Ok you may not like this, but I think we should cash in on Mohamed Diame.  The bloke and his agent are cash cows and will always follow the dollar.  I don’t deny that he is a good player but he only turns it on when it suits him, namely the big games, at others times he has flattered to deceive and as my mate commented, if he had a football brain then he could be the real deal.

Now Matthew Taylor comes across as a lovely fellow, but I think we can all agree that last season he was very poor.  It is time to move him on; he is level at best in my opinion.

No bids have come in for any of our other players, good to see we have tied Reid down to a better contract, which is well deserved following the last 2 seasons in which he has been excellent.  Tomkins has previously been linked with Newcastle United, can’t see that and why would a Basildon lad want to head up north to that circus!

So the insane speculation will continue up until the transfer window shuts at the end of August 2013, by which time I am sure there will be a dozen more players linked with us and we will end up with Kevin Davies on a free transfer!  Over at Sports News Jim White and the lovely Natalie Sawyer will be getting super excited as another nobody is linked with Stoke City.

Harry RedknappHarry Redknapp will be caught on camera, on his mobile (thought he did not know how to work them?!) in his car giving a couple of one liners to an over excited reporter, but at the same time denying everything.  Meanwhile reporters will be situated outside various grounds with a bunch of simpletons huddled round them, this is normally Stoke City, no offence but every window it seems to be the case, as they cheer the arrival of another thug signing.

This is the farce that is the Transfer Window, but come on let’s admit to ourselves that while it is utterly absurd, deep down we love it don’t we?!

Anyhow Dave down the pub, heard from Trev at work, that his mate Smithy has told him that West Ham are in advanced talks with Barcelona over the transfer of Lionel Messi………..