It’s no secret that West Ham fans love a good song or two. Whether it’s at the Boleyn Ground or on the road, the Hammers’ faithful have a reputation of making sure the opposition know that they’re there, and our writer James Jones chooses his favourite five chants from recent years.
Apart from the obvious chants like ‘Forever Blowing Bubbles’, ‘We are West Ham’s Claret and Blue Army’ and ‘Come on You Irons’, West Ham fans have an impressive library of hits that are designed not only to appreciate the efforts of a cult favourite or to insult a former player, but also to make people laugh. After all, sometimes people need cheering up when watching West Ham, especially in recent years.
So here’s five of the best chants for current and former West Ham players that will never, ever get old.
1. Ludek Miklosko
The big, great Czech goalkeeper spent eight years at West Ham as a player, making 375 appearances and becoming an Upton Park hero in the process. After retiring Miklosko returned to the Hammers as goalkeeping coach before leaving last year by mutual consent. But, his legacy lives on amongst the West Ham fans. At almost every game you’ll hear the Hammers’ faithful singing the following chant…
My name is Ludo Miklosko,
I come from near Moskow,
I play in goal for West Ham (West Ham),
When I walk down the street,
Everyone that I meet say,
Oi big boy, what’s your name?
Myyyyy name is Ludo Miklosko
(repeat over and over again)
2. Christian Dailly
Christian Daily has always been referred to as a footballing genius amongst West Ham fans. Seven years as a Hammers player gave Dailly over 190 appearances in Claret and Blue and a place in the hearts of the Hammers fans. His curly hair also won over the Upton Park faithful and became one of the main subjects of this famous chant that can be heard both home and away among the Claret and Blue followers, which is sung in the tune of ‘I love you Baby’ by Frankie Valli:
Oh Christian Dailly,
You are the love of my life,
Oh Christian Dailly,
I’d let you shag my wife,
Oh Christian Dailly,
I want curly hair too.
3. Frank Lampard
When Harry Redknapp was sacked as West Ham manager his assistant Frank Lampard Snr. also left the club. Frank Lampard Jnr, clearly upset about his Father and Uncle’s unfair dismissal, stated he wanted to leave. A high percentage of the fans felt he was only in the side because his family were in charge and didn’t particularly take to the youngster in the first place. But, ever since his move from Upton Park to Chelsea, Lampard has been the subject of hatred amongst the supporters of West Ham. His nickname as Big Fat Frank is notorious and the following song can always be heard when the Hammers meet Chelsea, sung in the tune of ‘One Man went to War.’:
One man couldn’t carry,
Couldn’t carry Lampard,
One man and his fork lift truck,
Couldn’t carry Lampard.
Two men couldn’t carry….
(repeat to ten and then follow it by…)
Big fat, big fat Frank,
Big fat, big fat Frank,
Big fat, big fat Frank,
Big fat Frankie Lampard.
4. Joe Cole/Carlton Cole
The original player to have this song dedicated to him was Joe Cole. After coming through The Academy, Joe was the most promising player to grace the Claret and Blue for many, many years. However, after the club’s relegation from the Premier League in 2003, it was inevitable that he’d be moved on to a top-flight side where he could improve his evident talent and build on his promising career. Then, Carlton Cole came along and, despite a few hic-ups here and there, and occasionally showing his inability to score goals when he’s got time to think about it, he has become a fan’s favourite. His recent pledge of commitment to the club should have won over any of his doubters. He has now adopted Joe’s song, which is sung along to the tune of ‘Gold’ by Spandau Ballet:
Cole,
Always believe in your soul,
You’ve got the power to know,
You’re indestructable,
Always believe in,
Carlton Cole.
5. Robert Green
Now although this one is not a classic West Ham chant, it shows the humour and quick thinking of the famous Claret and Blue army. During our last game at Steve ‘Wally with a Brolly’ McLaren’s Nottingham Forest, Robert Green was the subject of a chant from the home fans that ridiculed him for his World Cup disaster last summer. ‘You let your country down’ was being sung toward to England goalkeeper. Clearly, that’s not true, so the 3,000 travelling Hammers fans instantly backed Green up with:
So did your manager,
So did your manager.
_______
Got any favourites? Is there one that you feel should be in there? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
Check out James’ website www.hammertimewhu.wordpress.com
Bertie mee said to Bill Shankly. Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury, Bill said NoI don’t think so, but I’ve heard of the East End agro! East End East End Agro you know
The match at Brighton recently…. WE CAN SEE YOU HOLDING HANDS, WE CAN SEE YOU HOLDING HANDS!! Love it!!
and dont forget the “we can see you holding hands” song that was a blinder, we have a chef at work who supports brighton and says its all part of football banter so what the problem with these so called people who want to get rid of it as a homophobic chant, its just a bit of fun and thats all, they should get a life
best chant i ever heard was the north bank singing to tommy docherty years ago,”he’s up mary brown,he’s up mary brown,onto the table she must go e-i-e-i-e-i-o” to the tune of knees up mother brown.
” six foot two, eye’s of blue, billy bonds is after you, la la la la la la la ……….”
he’s only a poor little yiddo, he stands at the back of the shelf, he goes to the bar, to buy a lager, and only buys one for himself….
if i had the wings of an eagle, the dirty great arse of a crow, i’d fly over tottenham tomorrow, and shit on the yiddo’s below.. shit on, shit on, i’d shit on the yiddos below, below, shit on shit on, i’d shit on the yiddos below..
thank you very much for your north bank highbury, thank you very much, thank you very very much……
I think you,ll find the one for CC was done for Joe Cole
It’s the one-offs that amuse me the most. Like when Lee Bowyer was warming up on the touchline for Birmingham to chants of “your not playing cos your shit” fair play to him he found the chant highly amusing too.
One of my all time favourites came in a match against Bolton with little Sammy Lee in charge of one of his first matches. As he stood on the touchline in his smart new suit the West Ham faithful start chanting “Your suits from mothercare, your suits from mothercare” to the tune of Verdi’s La Donna.
Call me old fashioned but I always enjoyed singing Bubbles to the tune of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Starting slowly and increasing the tempo as we went… after three verses it was intense and the whole ground was leaping. For some reason it reminds me of nights under the lights in the days when we were invincible on a weeknight at home.
What we sung in the days.
From Oldham Athletic to the team we recall, we`re the famous West Ham the best off them all,
We went down to Tottenham in 75 we taken the Paxton the shelf and the side, because West Ham were winners and top of the league and the great Tottenham hotspurs were beaten indeed,
They ran in the streets and hid in the side, we told all the spurs that’s the best place to hide
Because West Ham were winners by 2 goals to 1 and the great Tottenham hotspurs were still on the run
As a young irons supporter, i feel that a chant should be made for the super nolan who as a fiery centre mid character his goals have been the difference between no points and taking home all three, NOLAN !
what, like the one we sing at every match to the tune of ‘just can’t get enough’? Is that the kind of Nolan song you’d like??
What I hope to be singing tomorrow:
We’re winning at home, we’re winning at hoooooome! How shit must you be! We’re winning at home!
One at peterborough last Tuesday sign up greeno
Jack there is
Agree with puncheddrunk but also loved
‘John Terry your mums a thief’
After she got busted for shoplifting. They beat us 3-1 I seem to remember but we had a good day singing that!
SUPER SUPER SCOTT
SUPER SUPER SCOTT
SUPER SUPER SCOTT
SUPER SCOTTY PARKER
OR
BOBBY MOORES’ CLARET AND BLUUUE ARMY
twist and shout the west ham fans way, cant beat it, coyi!