1. Rob Green – It would be great if you could sign a new contract so that you effectively reassure us you’ll finish your career with West Ham.
2. Winston Reid – Basically Winston, it would be epic if you could speed up your recovery and come back. Oh, and keep performing as well as you have been. Ok? Brilliant.
3. George McCartney – Just keep up the good work really? You’ve been putting in some solid performances and it would be nice to keep that stability going.
4. 1. Kevin Nolan – Look, I know we’re not exactly pals. But please can you stop being such a goon? A captain doesn’t get himself banned and doesn’t go mental at the referee for everything – a captain is supposed to calm things down.
5. James Tomkins – Yours is not to leave. You’ve established yourself as a vital member of the first team and signing a new contract should definitely be top of your list of things to do.
7. Sam Baldock – Please, please encourage people to keep singing that song about your… er… huge talent. It’s brilliant and is a crowd pleaser. Which I’m sure your talent is too, come to think of it!
9. Carlton Cole – I cannot question your commitment levels this season. You’ve been working so hard and I think everyone would be happy if you just keep doing what you’re doing.
10. Jack Collison – Please can you just get a better haircut? Yours is shocking. My brother’s a hair connoisseur and even he agrees! If you want to be the new Parker in our side you need to have a smart haircut like him.
11. John Carew – Yours is going to be one word. SCORE.
14. Matty Taylor – If you could stop being injured that’d be great. When you’re fully fit, I think you bring some much needed width to the team. So yours is to get fighting fit!
15. Abdoulaye Faye – All I want you to do is keep up the good work! You’ve been great and we’re really missing you at the back at the moment.
16.Mark Noble – I’d personally really appreciate it if you could let someone else try and take free kicks and corners. I find it rather frustrating so that’s what I’d set for you!
17. Joey O’Brien – Yours is to not get sent off again for the rest of the season. You’re better than that.
18. Julien Faubert – I’ve been SO impressed so far this season Julien. I’m setting your resolution as to keep making my TV look like it’s stuck on fast forward when you sprint towards goal.
19. Freddie Sears – Again, yours would be to score! I would set you a resolution of trying to develop yourself as a super sub.
20. Guy Demel – We didn’t really get to see a lot of you. I’d just set yours as staying fit and trying to get ready to break into the first team.
21. Papa Bouba Diop – I think you’ve settled into the team really well and I like the role you’re playing. Again, my resolution for you would be to keep up the good work.
22. Henri Lansbury – I love it when you play – we seem to have so much more creativity. Again, if you could just stay fit that’d be ace. Oh, and join us permanently?
24. Frank Nouble – I think it’s really good that you’re learning a lot while away on loan to Gillingham. I’d just try and keep absorbing every grain of advice you can so that when you’re back you’re ready for first team action.
26. Brian Montenegro – Just try and persuade Big Sam to take a punt on you and try and impress in training. It’d be really nice to see you before the end of the season!
27. Jordan Spence – Exactly what I’ve put for Nouble. Just swap Gillingham for Bristol City!
28 (Kurucz), 29 (Stech) and 31(Boffin) – Ahhh, our three extra goalies. Must be hard just waiting for your time to shine. The only thing I will set would be for Stech to get off the fake tan – you’re not fooling anyone with your squad photo!
30. Freddie Piquionne – Hmmm. We either have the problem that you’re just a bit rubbish or you’re not trying. Your target is to prove us all wrong and SCORE SOME GOALS.
32. Gary O’Neil – Good to have you back in the squad! My resolution would be for you to stay fit, much like Mr. Taylor!
43. Callum Driver – Well done for making it into the first team squad. My resolution for you would be to learn everything you can from the first team and try and progress as much as possible.
48. Danny Potts – Well what can I say? We’re all bloody proud of you. Your resolution is to keep
pushing and get some games under your belt.
For the team in general:
·Show more hunger for a second goal when we’ve taken the lead.
·Sometimes simple football is the best football. Avoid using the hoof as a standard pass!
·Finish in the top 2 of the division
·Stay positive and try to avoid concentration lapses that lead to us losing points late on.
What resolutions would you set the team? Tweet me at @alwaysintune to let me know.
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