West Ham’s ultimate 5-a-side team

So we are picking the ultimate Hammers 5-a-side team from any era…that’s a task and a half given some of the quality we have seen at The Boleyn over the years. Given that this form of the great game is all about touch, control, speed of thought, stamina and finishing, my choice of contenders in narrowing all the time; safe to say I wont be able to find any room for Ian Dowie, Paul Hilton, Nigel Reo-Coker or Hayden Mullins!

So, goalie for starters. Needs to be on the smaller side, alert and agile. I’d rule out big Phil Parkes and Ludo Miklosko based on size, despite being true Hammers legends and I’m going to go for the man in great form at the moment and a real shot stopper; Adrian. Robert Green would probably fit the bill as well, but lets opt for a current hero, despite his relatively short time at E13.

The king of keeping the ball, making things happen and keeping things moving must be our man of the moment Mark Noble. What he lacks in pace, he more than makes up for in sheer intelligence and quality. Hardly ever a wasted pass and always in the thick of things, searching, probing, testing and ever alert to the killer pass when the chance arises. You don’t want to be chasing the ball on a fives pitch, and Mark will ensure maximum ball retention whilst adding a bit of steel to the proceedings.

Next on the pitch would trot Alan Devonshire, one of the best dribblers and magicians we have ever had at the club. Great on the ball, trickery by the bucket load, devastating turn of pace, and great at the one-two, or give and go, such a great weapon when playing fives. Another player comfortable in possession and the lad could finish as well. Great addition.

At his very best, a young Joey Cole was up there with the best of them, doing things on and with the ball that mere mortals could only dream of. Great first touch, the seller of more dummies than Mothercare, and someone who could spot the killer ball and also have the ability to play it as well. Huge energy levels and always hungry to be in possession. A must in my eyes.

So who is going to get the final spot. Great names flashed before my eyes; Trevor Brooking, Paolo Di Canio, Johnny Byrne, Pop Robson and Frank McAvennie, all hugely capable and exciting to watch. However, I need a sharp predator who can finish with ease, is strong on the ball, and has the ability to seal a game. With his eye for goal and low centre of gravity, my final choice is Tony Cottee, one of the true goal scoring legends during his two spells with the Hammers.

My team is full of all the attributes needed to excel at 5-a-side – ball control, pace, dribbling skills, intelligent use of the ball in tight spaces and under pressure, good movement off the ball, and the ability to hit the net before the keeper sets himself.

Full line up is:

Adrian

Noble

Devonshire

Cole J.

Cottee

Pick a Hammers team to beat that lot!